How you can keep studying?

I've been through a busy exam storm, which is not over yet. The hardest thing is, to concentrate!

I mean if you procrastinate your study and study intensely for a few days and then you pass the exam but the exam following will be like hell!

Times like that what you gotta do will be just to close your eyes and think about a place with a cool breeze. You should feel good, feel refreshed, keep closed for at least 2 minutes. And that makes a 45 minute work! No it's for real. You should try it.

If you need to work for hours. You can do this several times but don't overdo it. Overdoing always spoils things.

Scheduling may be a good idea but sometimes it makes it more difficult to get started. When you can't fit to your schedule, you'll get more depressed if you are that type.

The most important thing is, though, is your motives why you should work. That means if you want to work more efficiently, you need to have a good aim. Psychologically, the urgency signal comes to you earlier than your mates, if you have a good future aim.

To be successful is a challenge which requires studying studying and asking! Which I think is more important than studying. Communicate with people that knows more, that is a shortcut. A Chinese proverb says: A single conversation with a wise man is better than ten years of study.

You know that Chinese are always right! :)

Parenting Styles/Child Psychology

Yesterday I had been studying at the library and I came along a great psychology dictionary. Then I started to check it, which I noticed a beautiful subject to write about. That was parenting styles.

Everyone has parents mostly, think about what kind of parents do you have? and think about your behaviours to see if it fits.

You may have a little of it a little of that or you may have totally one type of parents. That depends on YOU how you see your parents. Not depending on the facts actually. Let's face it, you don't want to think about your parents in a bad way.

I know that, we all have the same protective psychology. At least give yourself a break and do not tell anyone, just identify what type of parenting you had, maybe you'll have an idea about how you will treat your children.

Authoritarian Parenting:

-This type of parenting is characterized best by the word: "strict". They put rules, but they don't explain why they put those rules. This is a big failure when it comes to child psychology because this attitude is not so "friendly" as you see. It can make you hate your parents sometimes, of course in the end you'll love them when you figure out why they forbid you or so.

-Second thing about this type of parenting is that they are very demanding, they demand a lot

from you. They may demand you to be successful, or they demand you to help them when they ask you to. There is no way you have more important things than helping them.

Authoritative Parenting:

-There are rules again. In a softer way, they talk, they explain things to their children. Whatever they ask, these parents try to answer or at least find the answer for their kids. They are more forgiving when the child doesn't meet the expectations. They have their disciplinary methods but they are supportive. They listen to you a lot, willing to hear about what you think.

For example they will buy new stuff for the house, they ask you whether you like them, or about the color(sometimes little things but they'll make you decide. That will grow your personality)

-This kind of parenting give the best results obviously. The children will grow to be responsible adults from this kind of family.

Permissive Parenting:

-These parents have very few demands from their children. Probably a parent coming from a family that is authoritarian will say:"I'll put no boundaries to my children" and pick this type of parenting. Whatever way they think, they think in a wrong way. They talk a lot to their children but more than a parent like a friend. They put so little rules, you are free to go, spend money, join to the parties. Well it may seem like a dream to you, but this way your personality and emotional thirst never quench. The thing is, you are too free that even if you don't succeed at anything, you won't be punished.

-This kind of parenting will lead to lack of self-discipline to the child. Moreover, it may lead to a state of insecureness due to lack of guidance and boundaries.

-A study has shown that authoritarian parents' children when having their own house, and generally the permissive parents' children have a high rate of becoming a heavy drinker or smoker. One because of breaking free of rules, the other because of lack of discipline.

Uninvolved Parenting:

-They simply don't care a lot for their children, this is a rare situation. Parent's psychology may not be in a good state either. Child's psychology is bound to spoil in the end too. They sometimes reject their children's needs, sometimes they try to even avoid their children. You can guess the child's psychology.

Now having defined all of these, what do you think of these parenting types. Which ones are better which ones should be fixed?

Treat your children good!

Quit facebook

Yesterday, I had quit facebook. And with almost 800 friends. That is self-explanatory about how I was addicted to it. BUT my very dear friend S persuaded me to quit it and now I feel better about myself.

I want to discuss the effects of getting a facebook or quitting it and becoming an addict, how you CAN'T possibly quit it easily.

Firstly they have a very persistent system that wouldn't allow you to quit so easily. It gives like 14 days for you to decide whether you want to really quit or you want to come back. If you login, it activates itself again and it takes the quitting as deactivating. If you can make it up through the 14-day test, all your info will be deleted, and you can not go back.

Well I'm at my second day, I guess I better stop counting the days because without facebook the time passes so slowly. I realized how much time I have been killing. Poor me. When you really think about it, you can go to a community or a club or sth and socialize a whole lot there. That you don't need facebook actually but it is so easy. I think once I get my data deleted, I won't be going back so this 14 days thing is really a test of willpower to me.

I'm thinking about how I will use the time I've been wasting on facebook, if you have any ideas don't ever hesitate! I think I am going to be meeting more friends in the real world, going swimming more, maybe having a new hobby. I don't know. Of course I'll be writing more on my blog.

Some of my friends told me to just lessen the time that I've been spending on facebook but it just doesn't work that way. Once you login, you want to check almost anything, or chat to someone etc. When you say give me a break, whoops almost 3 hours went to waste already. You promise yourself you'll concentrate this time and study, and you say let me have a break. Another 1 hour goes to waste.

It may be due to my weak willpower or whatever, I'm aware of that and that's why I totally quit facebook, if I did something else I knew I was going to start it all over again.

It is like about an alcoholic moving to a country that alcohol is not sold. It is an absolute solution.

I hope any of the time killers on facebook like me would be able to quit it because in the real world, there are a lot more adventures and people awaits for you.

How do you build a good relationship with people?

Well, I researched the subject a little and they were about being too positive and so. I'm not going to say that. But the subject I'm discussing is about people with the same position as you, like your co-worker, a friend's friend, A guy from college etc.

Sometimes, you need to OBSERVE first, and then you can introduce yourself to the person you are meeting. It may leave a good impression on them if you smile so much or if you make jokes all around but it's not a good idea for all cases.

The key is that: Behave according to their personalities.

For example; if the guy is a proud one, you never should be humble. You need to take it slow. If he expects you to open up a subject, DON'T. Why should you be the one who is making an effort? It's only fair to expect the same amount of talk from the person you are talking to. Don't let him patronize you. Even if he is taller, more educated etc. you need to treat him equally. Well, I'm not saying you should be cold to him, but to have a distance at first may be good. That depends a whole lot to his personality though but be patient until you fully get to know him.

And leave an open door sometimes, don't answer all his questions, don't look too focused. That way, believe me you may end up with a better friendship, if you want to be friends with such person :)

For a humble person, it is much easier. You can be kind, considerate, he'll repay you. By the way, don't be fooled by the humble-looking but not in the least humble kind of people because they appear a lot around me, it depends on a lot of things again that I can't write all. Personality matters about this subject so don't overdo the being kind thing again because you may be abused later.

For a guy meeting a girl, it's I think easier. It's opposite sex and you just need to be polite, that's the key. But the things about humble/proud people applies here too. Just be observant about it. You'll be fine.

http://ezinearticles.com/?White-Sun---Personality-and-Fate&id=127635

here is an article about being humble or proud, how it affects your relationships and fate.

Waiting for your comments!!

How to spot a liar

www.ted.com/talks/pamela_meyer_how_to_spot_a_liar.html

I was moved by this talk about spotting a liar. I strongly recommend you to watch it. It applies to every aspect of life so there's no way it won't interest you. I would like to read the book by Pamela Meyer about being a lie spotter. Isn't that fantastic?

No it's not about eye contact or body language as you saw on television series, it is much more deeper. Pamela Meyer suggests that often you APPROVE the lie in your subconscious mind or you overhear them on purpose.

Plus, she says that lies have evolved with people, and it starts when you were a baby. Babies will fake a cry wouldn't they? When you become 5 year-old kid, you already master how to lie.

When you think about it, now that most of the people have some knowledge about faking or lying person's movements, gestures; they fake it even more not to do those gestures. Like making up too much detail in a story would be so obvious that you are lying, but she suggests that new liars, expert ones will fake so well that it may seem natural. She tells that you can even differ that from an honest person when you read the book.

Even if you don't buy the book for the basic knowledge, you should have a look to the video!

Takipçi kıtlığı

Bloguma popüleritesini arttırmak için ingilizceye geçiyorum arkadaşlar. Çünkü türkçe olunca çok sınırlı bir kitleye hitap ediyor.Bu şekilde belki takipçilerim de artar.

Ego

Dün akşam arkadaşlarla felekten bir gece çaldık birinin evinde. Çok güzel eğlendik. Şarkılar söyledik, mahalleden azar yedik. Konu tabi ki içince neye gelir, siz anladınız onu. Neyse işte güzel mezeler vs birsürü şey yedik, içtik. Ama önemli olan şuydu; tamamen egolarından arınmış, içten, toleranslı ve sıcak insanlar olunca her türlü ortam güzel oluyor. Bence dün akşam bunun üzerineydi ve de bu yüzden güzel geçti.

Egolarının esiri olmuş bir insan olmayı düşündüm de ne kadar zor aslında. Hani devamlı bir onaylanma güdüsü ama bir yandan onaylanmasan bile onu takmıyor gibi göstermen lazım. Diğer insanlardan üstün olduğunu kendine inandırman lazım, bunu da hissettirmeye çalışman lazım. Böyle yapa yapa artık o kadar üstüne siniyor ki bu davranışlar, bir süre sonra o berbat insan haline geliyorsun. Bir insan kendine nasıl bunu yapar.

Her şeyde insanlarla sidik yarıştırmaya çalışmak, belki de içten içe sevdiğin ama insanların loser olarak adlandırdığı şeyleri yapmaktan vazgeçmek, birisi senin oluşturduğun mükemmel duvarları kırıp sana bir eleştiride bulunduğunda kendin hakkında hayal kırıklığına uğramak gibi çok kötü şeyler de yaşıyor bu insanlar. O yüzden sakın onlara özeneyim demeyin, aslında çok çekiyorlar. Kendileri de bilmiyor ki bizim yaşadığımız gibi karşıdaki insanı da adam yerine koyup dinlediğin, loser da olsan saçma şeyler yapıp bunu anlatabildiğin vs gibi bir hayat ne kadar tatmin edici.

Dil öğrenmek

Bugün bir şeyi irdelemek istiyorum, biraz da S ile başlayan arkadaşım için.

Dil öğrenmek bence çok güzel bir şey. S dil öğrenmek istemiyormuş, ve hani bunu bir ders olarak görüyor bence, uğraşılacak bir şey. Ama aslında bence öyle değil, bir hobi gibi dil öğrenmek.

Mesela gitar çalan bir insan, gitar çalarken nasıl tatmin oluyorsa, mutlu oluyorsa; o dili konuşurken ya da o dilde film izlerken, ya da o dilde fill in the blanks bile yaparken ona benzer bir haz alınıyor. Yani diyorsun ki, bu dili biliyorum vay be şimdi bilmemkaç insanla daha iletişim kurabilirim aslında, onlardan bir şeyler öğrenebilirim vs.

Bir de yabancı dil öğrenmek bence farklı kültürlere karşı daha toleranslı olmayı sağlıyor. Bir süre sonra, öğrendiğin dilin insanlarını anladığında, ne saçma şeyler yapıyorlar demiyorsun. Hatta bazıları hoşuna gidiyor.

Bizim ülkede tabi hep sistematik öğrenme şekline gidiliyor. Mesela kuzenim, hazırlık sınavını geçerim ya benim gramerim çok iyi diyor. Gramerin çok iyi de yetmiyor işte. Gramer bence hatta 2. 3. planda olan bir şey. Bence önemli olan şey doğallık, kelime bilgisi, vurgulama, kalıplar.

Bunları sağlayan bir insanda zaten gramer doğal olarak oturuyor.

Bu yüzden de tabi ki kurslar yetmiyor, diziler vs. Yapabildiğimiz kadar girdi almamız gerekiyor. Yazı yazmak, o dilde chat yapmak, film izlemek. En güzeli tabii ki o ülkeye gitmek ama bunu yapana kadar en önemli şeyler bunlar bence.

Dil öğrenmek lazım